Saturday, May 16, 2009

A Cinderella Story


I am not a fan of waiting. I never really am. Well, for a couple of times I actually was. Like waiting along the line when I have to get my subjects during enrollment or when I wait for the start of my favorite program on the television. Those are just pretty small things to be waited for. I have never really done some serious waiting in my whole life… not until this guy came, and he made me wait until I just got used to it. When I first saw the movie A Cinderella Story where Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray paired up, I thought that it was just one of those almost-for-teens-only-high-school-life-slash- love-story movies. It was a story about Sam (Duff), who lost his father at a young age and was left to her cruel stepmother who had two evil daughters. Sam, under the codename princetongirl, had been exchanging e-mails with a Nomad, who turned out to be Austin Aimes (Murray), the most popular guy in their school. So, Austin, without knowing who princetongirl really is, asked Sam to meet him at the Homecoming dance. To cut the story short, their meet ended up without Austin knowing princetongirl’s real identity and when he found out the truth, he could not accept it first. Her confrontation with Austin inside the locker room was one of the best parts (better watch it). So in the end, Sam and Austin ended up well together. I never really paid attention to the message of the story. I kept watching it over again because I thought, with that cute movie, that was what an ordinary teenager, like me, would do. Then I finally got its message—“never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” That was the exact quote from the movie. But behind these words, the message was simple—do not be afraid of showing who you really are. Believe in yourself and stand up for your beliefs. Do not allow anybody to have control over your life. Anyway, I loved one part of the movie. Sam quoted a very attention-grabbing sentence while confronting Austin in the locker room—“…because waiting for you, is like waiting for the rain in this drought, useless and disappointing.” This quote grabbed my attention and then I remembered the guy that I was talking about earlier. I don’t wanna mention his name so let’s just call him Dude. Dude and I had something very wonderful. We planned our future together. Everything was almost perfect. I was so in love with him that the thought of our relationship having a problem did not occur to me. We were together for six months and on the sixth month, he had to go out of the country for over a year with his parents. Even if I did not want us to part, I had no choice but to let him go. So, he left me with a promise that he will come back for me and that he loves me so much. I also made a promise that I will wait for him no matter what. With that, I accepted the fact that we had to part. Almost a month after he left, I found out that he left another girl here in the country. Dude and this girl had the same relationship that Dude and I had. But to my surprise, their relationship started two months before he left. I was still his girlfriend then. It broke my heart so much. It took me a very long time, as long as two years, that is until now, to move on. Even though he did not keep his promise within those two years, I still thought that maybe he’ll keep it next year, or ten years from now. As for me, my promise to him remains intact. I told myself that I would never give up waiting for him until I see him getting married. He was the only guy that made my heart beat fast and slow at the same time. I loved him so much and until now, I think I still do. I get hurt whenever I look at their (Dude and the girl) pictures in the internet. I mean, why are they happy after they’ve hurt me? Why can’t I be that girl? Then, I saw the movie… and I realized, how long am I gonna wait for him? If I continue waiting for him, will he be there in the end? If I keep my promise, will he do as well? Will he come back to me? Will hestill love me? Does he still love me right now as I write this? I kept on thinking about him and each day that passes never ends without me thinking of him. I want to keep on shouldering on. I do not want to give up this fight. I want to raise a family with him one day and I just want to look back from the future to where I sit now and just smile at everything that we have gone through. I want to continue loving him… But I cannot do any of these without him. I am not tired of loving him, but I am tired of waiting for him. Because waiting for him is like waiting for the rain in the drought—useless and disappointing.

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